Pearl Jam Twenty

My brother is nine years older than I. Maybe, it was because he just liked me, or maybe it was because I was the baby. I don't know why he would sometimes take me to the movies with him when I was little. When I was about ten years old, he took me to see a re-release of 101 Dalmatians at the movies. After, he made me sneak in to see The Naked Gun: 2 and 1/2. I was so panicked about sneaking into the movie that I made my brother leave with me. I have to admit that sneaking in was a rush.

It was kind of fitting, then, that it took twenty years for my brother and I to go anywhere just with each other to see a movie about a band that managed to stay together for twenty years. Going to the movies with my brother after twenty years of never doing so--meaning there was no family or friends to cushion the company--made me think about how much a band like Pearl Jam must have really decided to stick by and with each other through life. That kind of commitment is not always easy.

Pearl Jam Twenty is written and directed by Cameron Crowe. (You may remember that he put Eddie Vedder as a cameo in his love story to Seattle movie, called Singles.) Crowe reminds the audience that he used to be a rock writer, and, frankly, the movie unfolds like The Rolling Stone Interview. Have you read the featured interview lately in The Rolling Stone? The interviewers must give their subjects truth serum because I've never read any other interviews like the Feature. The subjects reveal so much about themselves that they--most of the time--end up looking kind of like jerks. PJ20 is comprised of clips of rarely-seen or never-before-seen footage of the members of Pearl Jam. Crowe reveals it all, too. He really holds nothing back--even interviews where Eddie can be a little volatile toward the camera.

The members (and friends) of Pearl Jam have something going for them that most of the subjects of The Rolling Stone Interview only wish they had: they are good. They are all good, decent, nice, artistic guys that love what they do and love who they do it with. Really, we should all be so lucky. These guys--after all the stardom, boycotting of Ticketmaster, and the political agendas--are really deserving of the peace and happiness that comes with playing in a band and being proud of the work they achieve.

Just to be clear, I have loved Eddie Vedder from the moment I heard "Better Man." (Of course, it's a bit disconcerting that Ed and I are the same height--5'7"1/2--and that he dates and marries models. But, when you write, sing, perform, and look like him, I tend to forgive a lot.) A nice surprise in PJ20 was the opportunity to learn about the other band members. They are just as devoted to art and in love with fans and performing and each other as Eddie. Also, it is just incredibly refreshing to learn about a really successful band that has not had issues with drugs and alcohol.

PJ20 was shown in theaters in limited release, and most of the audience members were die-hard Pearl Jam fans. It is a bit long at times, especially with the recent interviews. But, it was definitely interesting to see clips of songs being written. And, the concert footage gave me goosebumps. Sometimes, a band or a rock star comes along, and I understand what all the fuss is about. Eddie and the rest of Pearl Jam really do hold a certain charm that is simply innate and stunning. The audience ended up clapping at the end. I liked the movie; my brother liked the movie. I just didn't want to clap. Somehow, doing so felt inauthentic. After spending a couple of hours with a band like Pearl Jam, I just had to be myself.

Crazy, Stupid Love

I really think there is something seriously wrong with me when I (albeit begrudgingly) nudge you to go spend ten bucks on a movie just to see someone take his shirt off. You won't even see him do the deed. Wait, let me explain. See, I've only done it ONE TIME with a man who had a seriously good body. He was perfect (and, yes, I am accounting for my memory to make him so even if he wasn't in real life). He was thin, but not lanky. He was lean and muscled and proportioned correctly. I don't think I'm explaining properly. Listen, he was Brad-Pitt-in-A-River-Runs-Through-It beautiful. He worked out or he had good genes or he had recently sold his soul to the devil. I don't know, and I really didn't care. I had him, and before that, I never understood that a good body makes so much of a difference. It stimulates the senses in a way that a great mind with an okay body just fails to do. I didn't know how statistically improbable it is for a person to have the opportunity to get with a physically objectively beautiful man until I hit the jackpot that one time. So, even though Crazy, Stupid Love just turned out to be stupid, it's kind of worth it (a rental!) to be able to see Ryan Gosling and his hot body. You just don't know if you'll ever see that kind of scene in the flesh.

This summer, I saw Crazy, Stupid Love with a couple of other adults and a few fourteen year olds. I don't think I've been to a movie theater with a teenager since I was one. I don't mean to wax nostalgic here, but when I was a kid, we had no cell phones and no texting and no glowing phones. These girls with whom I went to the movies relentlessly texted and talked to one another. You might think, then, that I was so bothered by this behavior that my annoyed state rubbed off on my opinion of the movie. I honestly had no ill will toward Crazy, Stupid Love before I began watching. However, it turned out to be a disappointing movie about my favorite (and totally universal, always incorporated) theme: relationships--and, more specifically, divorce.

I love movies about divorce. And, no, it's not because my parents divorced. (Believe me; we're all better off for that little lawsuit.) Divorce movies are good because they are usually the most honest depictions of relationships. Irreconcilable Differences and The Kids Are All Right are two of my favorite divorce-themed movies. But, they're not really about divorce at all. They're about the complexities of relationships. The problem I had with CSL is that right from the start the audience (and the characters) learn that a divorce is imminent, and the characters jump ship right away. That's not real. That's not realistic. That's not how people operate. We're left with having to watch Steve Carell manipulate woman after woman into bed. (And, by the way, I was not expecting Marisa Tomei to have such a goofy part. I really wish more meaty parts could be written for middle-aged women. Here's my PSI: go see Rosanna Arquette's documentary, Searching for Debra Winger. You won't really get any answers or satisfying reasons why there aren't many good movies featuring good older actresses, but it's nice to see Martha Plimpton and, of course, Debra Winger.)

Oh, and you know my man, Ryan Gosling? Well, he plays another character where a man is a womanizer without a heart until he meets the Right Girl. This woman changes everything in his life for him. His perspective has changed; his priorities have shifted. Maybe, that scenario is true in some instances, but I think it's dangerous for women to be prompted to think that they have the power or influence to actually change how a man behaves. And, also, I hate that whole idea of a woman claiming success by changing a man's ways. Basically, I don't really buy that men change due to an influence of a woman, and I'm tired of feeling like I should be shamed or exhaulted for not changing a man's behavior or changing a man's behavior. If a man hasn't worked on his own stuff, then it doesn't matter if a woman is the greatest human on the planet; no one can change someone who doesn't want to change. So, I just wish that movies would not manipulating the public into believing otherwise.