Reality Bites bites.

I'm sure this has happened to you. You see Reality Bites when you're not quite out of high school but thinking about college and life after. Troy (Ethan Hawke) seems really hot, right? He's brooding and smart (A 180 I.Q.! A philosophy major! He's in a band!). He's also a guy who's had 12 jobs in probably as many months. As Lelaina (Winona Ryder) in the movie says, "All you ever do is sit and couch and fondle the remote control." What a fucking winner. But, he IS a winner. He's so much better than Ben Stiller's character--you know, the one with the job who is actually nice to Winona. Gross, right? WRONG! And, that is only the tip of the iceberg of why Reality Bites is such a monumentally sucky movie.

Do you even NEED to know the plot? 20-somethings right out of college. Finding their way with dates and friends and getting HIV tested (this IS the mid-'90s...salt 'n pepa: let's talk about sex, baby; let's talk about you and me; let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be; let's talk abooouuut sex. TLC: Lefteye wore a condom patch over her eye). Lelaina is making a documentary about her friends, about people living life with no real role models, while she works at a sacharine-sweet morning show, Good Morning, Grant, to pay the bills. The concept of the documentary is good, other than the fact that Lelaina cannot hold the camera steady. Oh, yeah, and Lelaina needs to choose between her old friend, Troy, and this new guy, Michael (played by the director, Ben Stiller).

But, there is one underlying good thing about Reality. See, these young adults have just graduated college and they're still living all together, trying to scrape together enough cash for pizza, having one-night stands, coming out to their parents. It's nice to see that just because college ends, your days with friends and all that comes along with college life, doesn't necessarily end once you hit your mid-twenties. That part is real and kind of comforting. And, the relationship between Vicky (Janeane Garofalo) and Lelaina is nice in a realistic girlfriend sort of way. Okay, so, I know the idea of prolonging the life you lead in college is appealing because I've done it--that, and my bestie and I would watch this movie almost daily when we had an apartment together. However, there are really bad aspects to Reality. And, really bad messages. And, tired cliches. It's hideous.

Winona (post-Lucas, post-Beetlejuice, pre-shoplifter) is appealing in this movie because she embodies the mid-1990s prototype of young women--okay to be smart, wears sensible, sturdy shoes...I think you know where I'm headed. (Sorry, I'm sort of on a 1994 movie kick.) And, she's fragile-looking, petite and pretty. Likeable. It's just that watching this movie again recently, I can't help but want to shake Lelaina and tell her to get the fuck away from Troy. He's no good. He treats Lelaina poorly. Even when they get it on (and I know I'm not spoiling anything here...even if you haven't seen Reality, you can figure this out), Troy runs as fast as he can away from Lelaina.

And, yet...we are supposed to continue to root for Troy. We want him and Lelaina to be together in the end. Even watching it now, I can't help but think what a poor, sad loser Michael is. I guess Troy's better. At least Troy doesn't like Peter Frampton. And, the cameos are really good: John Mahoney (the dad from Say Anything) is the host to Good Morning, Grant; Dave Pirner (Soul Asylum) shows up for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment as Vicky's boyfriend. (I think he and Winona were dating in real life; what other reason could there be for his appearance here?) Oh, and Renee Zellwegger doesn't even speak as one of Troy's one-night stands. There is some salvation here.