Salt N Pepa

Babes with bangin' bodies are images that really do move me. I'm craving them. Yeah, women like this are in real life, but what I want is some tough women on television. I want to be able to watch them, mouth gaping open, without feeling awkward for staring. I want to admire. I want to lust. Basically, I want Salt N Pepa back.

Salt N Pepa was a bad-ass girl group in the mid-1980s that lasted until about 1995. And, I think by the mid-1990s, they were pretty much done. Oh my, these women were FINE. Brassy, ballsy, frank and hot. Enough saucy adjectives for you? Salt N Pepa were pretty much best friends and they were rappers. Their DJ was Spinderella, another woman. Their music videos featured these sexy ladies in tight little jean cut-offs or spandex suits. They were athletic, strong, curvy, and--best of all--totally into showing their bodies. They sang songs like, "Push It" (my personal favorite) and "Let's Talk About Sex." Yes, I KNOW it was the '90s, and messages about safe and positive sex were all the rage, but this was a woman duo singing for their sisters. Did I mention, "If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight, it's none of your business"? The song drips with female empowerment and entitlement--elements we are seriously lacking in the year 2000 and way beyond. And, that is really disturbing and disappointing. I want that full blooded female type back.

The only way Britney Spears could have embodied a little bit of that good arrogance was if, when she shaved her head, she actually went around with a shaved head and prominantly displayed it. She could have been liberated and ditched the tired blonde hair. But, no. Instead, she donned a weave and called it a day, depriving us women of witnessing a "fuck you" to societal beauty standards and, possibly, a nod to the guts and beauty that was Salt N Pepa. I mean, Britney totally could have pulled off having a curvy, strong body. She just wouldn't push herself enough. And, so, we are stuck with the likes of Katy Perry--who is never raunchy enough and who insults a boy by saying he has pms. That's not empowering to women. That's degrading. And, big deal...you kissed a girl and loved cherry chapstick (one of the lamest lines ever!). I mean, who has NOT kissed a girl? Believe me, the chapstick or lipstick just gets in the way.

So, I want my buxom, bold rap stars or singers or actresses back. I want to ogle their goodies. I want to want a woman with shape, with arrogance, with power. But, in the mean time, I'll watch old videos of Salt N Pepa to tide me over until the next wave of female empowerment comes. It's got to be soon. I mean, we're way over due.