Listening Is an Act of Love: A Celebration of American Life from the StoryCorps Project (audio cd from NPR)

My grandma was the best talker I knew. Funny. Smart. Sensitive. Caring. Self-deprecating. Engaging. She had some great stories, and I wish I had thought to record them. The closest I have is a cassette tape my sister made of an interview she did with our grandma for a women's studies class in college. And, it's kind of marred because my other sister is screeching/singing in the background.

StoryCorps is a project from NPR. Booths have been set up mainly in big cities in order for people to interview or prompt a story from a loved one. And, that last part matters. The loved one. It makes such a difference to hear a story told to a grandson or a mother or a brother. It's so much more intimate than talking directly into a microphone--a void--or getting interviewed by a stranger. The cd is really the way to listen to StoryCorps. (Don't even bother with the accompanying book). And, it's best--as with most radio programs--to listen while driving (good advice, Mr. Ira Glass). There are about 20 stories on the cd and they're each three or four minutes long.

The best interviews in the collection are the ones where the interviewer already knows the beats and rhythms of the tales. She just likes to hear it told by the right person and with the right level of intimacy. One of my favorites is from a Korean-American woman (born in the US) who interviews her mother about how she promoted affection and love in her marriage, their household and, by extension, the rest of their family. The story is sweet, but the best part is at the end when the mother asks the daughter how she feels about having a loving, affectionate family. The daughter likes it and you can hear it in her voice that she's telling the truth. Another good interview is between a grandfather and a grown grandson. The grandson asks his grandfather about how he and his grandmother decided on adoption. It is clear from the interview that the grandfather never thought twice about adoption and that he loved his children unconditionally. The exchange between the men is loving and only after the story was over did I realize that the grandson was the biological son of the adopted child. Beautiful.

Listening to these stories brought me back to when I used to beg my grandma to tell me stories. I knew how they ended because I had heard them hundreds of times before. That didn't matter because what I was really begging for was to hear the inflections in my grandma's voice, to see her become animated, to get a glimpse of her soul. StoryCorps does that in a different sort of way. No, you do not know the people on the cd. But, you become intimate with the listener of the loved one more than you even like the story. The story sounds more tender, more intimate, because the storyteller is talking for the benefit of his or her loved one. By extension, you become the loved one. It's a very cozy feeling to be in that position--especially when your great storyteller of a grandma is no longer here.

My favorite story is about Miss Divine, a strict Sunday school teacher. I laughed out loud, and I listened to it over and over. It was so endearing and funny because of the cousins who told the story. I felt like a fellow cousin who endured the wrath of Miss Divine right along with them. I felt so connected to humanity. Listening was as intimate as talking on the telephone. I felt like no one else in the world was around, yet I was so aware of the world's beauty. What more can I say? Go out and buy the cd. Give one to a friend. Record your own stories. Whatever we do, let's just keep this going. It's too good to stop.

Pretty in Prom; Footprom; Never Been Prommed; American Prom

I did not go to my high school prom. I did not want to go to the prom. I did not turn down one person as a date. I did not care one thing about that prom. I knew people that went to the prom, and aside from going to a salon to get an up-do that aged the average teenager 15 years and buying a flimsy long gown, I never found a compelling reason to go. So, WHY OH WHY are we bombarded by Prom movies? You know...the ones where the prom is the holy grail of teenage life?Let me tell you, teenage readers who, with prom season coming up upon on us and you with not a date in sight, prom is only a dance. A hopeful boy may bring a condom and a starving-to-fit-into-her-dress girl may cease to eat and then have champaigne and then get a bit loopy (Donna Martin from 90210 anyone?...Donna Martin graduates!). But, that's kind of it.

Don't think I don't get it; I do. I know that the prom is the teenage equivalent to a wedding. It's a good goal in a movie (wedding/prom) because it's a place for the plot to end up, but it's probably not a good goal for life itself (and I'm emphasizing the wedding part here). The whole goal of Footloose is to have a dance, to have a prom. The goal of American Pie is to fuck by way of the prom. Romy and Michele get dissed at the prom. (And, their high school reunion is pretty much prom, round two.) Pretty in Pink claims her independence at the prom (even though Andy still gets with Blaine...I'm convinced the director's cut of that movie has Andy either getting with her gay/doesn't know he's gay yet friend, Duckie, or she stays single). Now, Carrie...I can totally get behind the goal in Carrie's prom. Sure, Carrie wanted to dance, but the school wanted to humiliate her. So, when she demolishes the better part of her peers, the goal of murder by way of prom is pretty ingenious. (Shakespeare would have a field day with that. In the 1970s [Carrie], creates death and by the 1990s [American Pie], the boys long for their own demise by way of sex, by way of the orgasm. It's almost too poetic.)

I would love to see a movie where the prom simply happens, and it's not at the end, and it's not involving an ugly duckling getting transformed into a faux-forty year old (I'm referring to the hairstyle that inevitably happens to 17 year old girls at the salon). A prom IS like a wedding. But, it's a wedding where you're merely a guest. You're not the bride or groom taking vows (i.e. the last lawful contractual form of slavery). If you simply attend a wedding reception, it's not the climax of your life. It's a night where you maybe bought a new dress and dinner was served in a buffet line. That's how prom should be. It should be a fun night. And, don't think that if you missed prom in high school, you'll never get to go later. You'll go. It'll just be better. It'll be in the form of a law school prom (yeah, believe it or not, they do exist!) or a high school or college reunion or someone will throw a party and the theme will be '80s prom or you'll attend a wedding or be a bride or groom in a wedding.

Prom is just a fancy dance. So, go to all the equivalents you can because you'll most definitely be smarter than you were in high school. Sleep with the boy who sheepishly brings the condom. Punch the drunk boy who gropes you. Diet down. Don't diet down. Drink a lot. Drink nothing. Just remember, it's ONLY ONE NIGHT and there are so many in life. And, if you've been brainwashed by the movies into thinking that this is the climax of your existence, then you better work to make it the best night of your life. Then, call your therapist, take your meds, and sleep off that hangover because tomorrow is another day. And, maybe, another prom.

3 Women

1977, Directed by Robert Altman. Altman has said that he got the idea to make this movie from a dream. Indeed, some scenes are visually poetic, strange, and dream like. Some scenes are nauseating, in that 70s men in polyester way, a reality you rather wish didn't happen. Shelley Duvall won a best actress award at cannes for her portrayal of Millie Lammoreaux, a girl you're not likely to forget. This isn't the sort of film where the personalities and lives of three women are examined, contrasted and mirrored, and you try to identify with maybe one of them. Nor is it three separate stories with points of intersection. These are sad women, "maladjusted," each existing in her own world. (Janice Rule plays a woman-child, who paints wonderful symbolic figures in empty swimming pools. You will not forget these paintings either. Certain images from dreams are hard to forget.) They look at one another, but there is no sorority. Somehow, by the work of the devil, a filthy disgusting man gets his way with each of them. That man becomes their bond. And then what happens? The women come together. They reposition themselves to protect one another, and in their new arrangement, the man is dispelled. He vanishes, just like that. 5 out of 5 stars.

The Pornographers

JAPANESE SEX DOLL, the making of. I've seen my share of crazyweirdhonest2thepointof mysticism japanese films (Birdy Hilltop ring a bell with anyone?), films that start off ok but then become deranged. (This review, as well as future subsequent reviews under my name, will be incoherent, but please stay with me.) But it is that very crazy honesty, or crazy surrealism, that whets my appetite for more Japanese films. Or maybe I am simply very into black/wht films of the 50s and 60s. "The Pornographers" are a group of men who make pornographic films and literature. But they are not slimy at all. In fact, one of them is effeminate, possibly asexual, possibly gay. The main operative is a devoted boyfriend/husband and step-father/father figure. He considers the distribution of porn to sexually hungry Japanese men a public service. (One scene in which a group of Japanese businessmen screen a porno flick involving a Caucasian male lead is particularly revealing. One of them cracks a joke when he sees the size of the white male endowment. The group laughs. Either the Japanese have very good self-deprecating humor or they know that size is no indicator of sexual prowess/pleasure. Or maybe both. Anyways, I was surprised when that topic was addressed, and from the Asian male perspective.) His, um, occupation is the least scandalous part of the movie. The movie also addresses the dynamics in a claustrophobic lower middle class four-member family, such as the sexual and domestic potentials between a coming of age young woman and her mother's live-in boyfriend/second husband. Surreal (but real) scenes include an orgy, a recurring carp, and yes, not to disappoint, a sex doll. Watch it if you've ever found yourself asking, "what is the japanese's fascination with sex/ roricon?" 4.5 out of 5 stars.

Stand and Deliver delivers.

My high school English and Spanish teacher (same guy) would motivate us students to speak in front of the class by saying, "You must stand and DELIVER." The sweeping arm movement helped with the emphasis. It also gave us great material to work with outside of class while making fun of him. I'm convinced he got that saying from an '80s movie called Stand and Deliver. Even though this was way past the '80s, my entire town was really stuck on feathered hair, tapered jeans and heavy eye shadow. So, my teacher was no exception.

That phrase really did motivate me. But, the movie--a true to life story--behind it is even better. It stars Edward James Olmos as the teacher, Jaime Escalante, at Garfield High School in Los Angeles. Jaime is slated to teach remedial math to Chicano/Hispanic students. Instead, he decides to teach them calculus. They eventually take the AP exam and are accused of cheating. I know I always wax nostalgic for '80s movies, but I can't help it. There's something raw and rugged about the camera work, the wardrobe, the actors that has yet to really translate in subsequent decades. Now, for the most part, movies seem too glossy and the actors seem too clean.

Stand and Deliver is really a coming of age story of sorts. The students work together for two years and we see the struggles they encounter in their personal life against the backdrop of them becoming college-ready. These are poor kids from the barrio and even the educators were probably hoping they would simply make it out of high school alive. Mr. Escalante is giving them the potential to earn college credit. That is huge. (In a way, this movie reminds me of the documentary called Fear and Learning at Hoover Elementary about barrio kids and the teacher that motivates them. She gives the elementary students fake diplomas to some prestigious universities on the promise that these kids go to college and get the real deal.)

Okay, so when the students are accused of cheating, first they deny it and then they collectively decide what to do next. I always cry at the last 30 minutes. It's just powerful. And, yeah, I know they're high school kids (but probably all the actors are really of age, right?), but they're hot. Lou Diamond Phillips plays Angel (gangsta turned calculus god) and I'm just into him. He had me at La Bamba. The girls are cute, too, with their big hair and real-woman figures. I'm saving the best for last: Andy Garcia. I LOVE Andy Garcia, and I really don't think he's gotten the amount of movie roles he deserves because you know that eye candy is always necessary. He is just beautiful. Andy plays the guy who has to investigate whether the students at Garfield cheated or not.

Okay, this movie is not good because everyone is hot (and, yes, Mr. Olmos, I include you...that combover really gets me). It's good because it's a true story that has some depth. Yeah, they're high school kids and usually nothing much happens of significance to an average 16 year old. But, you really will understand the importance of these kids learning calculus. Well, the thing is, the kids are ordinary. And, that's what makes this feat so much more than ordinary. Dare I say it? It's inspiring.

Reality Bites bites.

I'm sure this has happened to you. You see Reality Bites when you're not quite out of high school but thinking about college and life after. Troy (Ethan Hawke) seems really hot, right? He's brooding and smart (A 180 I.Q.! A philosophy major! He's in a band!). He's also a guy who's had 12 jobs in probably as many months. As Lelaina (Winona Ryder) in the movie says, "All you ever do is sit and couch and fondle the remote control." What a fucking winner. But, he IS a winner. He's so much better than Ben Stiller's character--you know, the one with the job who is actually nice to Winona. Gross, right? WRONG! And, that is only the tip of the iceberg of why Reality Bites is such a monumentally sucky movie.

Do you even NEED to know the plot? 20-somethings right out of college. Finding their way with dates and friends and getting HIV tested (this IS the mid-'90s...salt 'n pepa: let's talk about sex, baby; let's talk about you and me; let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be; let's talk abooouuut sex. TLC: Lefteye wore a condom patch over her eye). Lelaina is making a documentary about her friends, about people living life with no real role models, while she works at a sacharine-sweet morning show, Good Morning, Grant, to pay the bills. The concept of the documentary is good, other than the fact that Lelaina cannot hold the camera steady. Oh, yeah, and Lelaina needs to choose between her old friend, Troy, and this new guy, Michael (played by the director, Ben Stiller).

But, there is one underlying good thing about Reality. See, these young adults have just graduated college and they're still living all together, trying to scrape together enough cash for pizza, having one-night stands, coming out to their parents. It's nice to see that just because college ends, your days with friends and all that comes along with college life, doesn't necessarily end once you hit your mid-twenties. That part is real and kind of comforting. And, the relationship between Vicky (Janeane Garofalo) and Lelaina is nice in a realistic girlfriend sort of way. Okay, so, I know the idea of prolonging the life you lead in college is appealing because I've done it--that, and my bestie and I would watch this movie almost daily when we had an apartment together. However, there are really bad aspects to Reality. And, really bad messages. And, tired cliches. It's hideous.

Winona (post-Lucas, post-Beetlejuice, pre-shoplifter) is appealing in this movie because she embodies the mid-1990s prototype of young women--okay to be smart, wears sensible, sturdy shoes...I think you know where I'm headed. (Sorry, I'm sort of on a 1994 movie kick.) And, she's fragile-looking, petite and pretty. Likeable. It's just that watching this movie again recently, I can't help but want to shake Lelaina and tell her to get the fuck away from Troy. He's no good. He treats Lelaina poorly. Even when they get it on (and I know I'm not spoiling anything here...even if you haven't seen Reality, you can figure this out), Troy runs as fast as he can away from Lelaina.

And, yet...we are supposed to continue to root for Troy. We want him and Lelaina to be together in the end. Even watching it now, I can't help but think what a poor, sad loser Michael is. I guess Troy's better. At least Troy doesn't like Peter Frampton. And, the cameos are really good: John Mahoney (the dad from Say Anything) is the host to Good Morning, Grant; Dave Pirner (Soul Asylum) shows up for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment as Vicky's boyfriend. (I think he and Winona were dating in real life; what other reason could there be for his appearance here?) Oh, and Renee Zellwegger doesn't even speak as one of Troy's one-night stands. There is some salvation here.

A big weekend

Dear readers,

It was a great weekend for me (and the blog). I visited Washington D.C. and saw two (arguable) gems: Crazy Heart and Next Floor. Next Floor is a short that was screening at the Hirshhorn Museum. It won the Cannes Award for short films. Art, you say? Or maybe more eloquently, should art and cinema collide in such a recognizable way? I'm excited to review these two films. I'm also thinking of compiling a "10 most badass female movie characters" list. Until then...