javascript:void(0) images move me: Drive me crazy--drove me crazy

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Drive me crazy--drove me crazy



Yesterday I convinced my boyfriend to watch Drive me Crazy. I bought it for 5 dollars at a blow out sale. The death of the DVD industry means $5 movies for me!
So I bought it and magically spun a tale and convinced my very heterosexual, action loving boyfriend to watch it with me. "It's really transgressive. It's snappy" I said. "There's this scene where they show all the popular kids cheering at a bball game and then compare it to a Nazi rally. Trust me. It's good."
We started watching and it was bad. Really bad. The clothes were bad bad bad the casting was god awful. I mean, I love Melissa Joan Hart but who could buy her as the popular bitchy girl? She's sweet. She's Clarissa. She's Sabrina. She's not hot. She's pure and has cankles.
The dialogue was embarassing. It made me cringe. But I loved it. It reminded me of sixth grade. I had an eraser in sixth grade that I wrote ADRIAN GRENIER all over. As I erased it became ADRIAN GRENIE then ADRIAN GREN, then ADRI. God I was so in love with him. Now he's in this really shiteous show called "Entourage." Alright, back to the movie. It's a classic My Fair Lady motif. Adrian Grenier is Chase Hammond-the outcast loser with a social conscience. MJH is Nicole (forgot last name)popular girl who is Ms. School Spirit. They start dating to make their exes jealous and then --GASP!--they start falling in love with each other. She makes him over into a Gap mannequin and he starts hanging with all the cool kids. It's really an awful 1.5 hours. Melissa Joan Hart and Adrian Grenier have as much chemistry as lobotomized siblings. But I won't lie. There are snippets of gold. Adrian Grenier leaves this message on his ex girlfriend's answering machine in response to her message: "if you really want me to get back to you, leave three original ways why high school sucks." Chase: "Uh..let's see. There's the rampant homophobia. No pep rallies for the debate team...which actually leads to, I'm sure, the much larger issue of the highly fascist nature of pep rallies in general.Speeches. Saluting. Banners. I think you see where I'm going here. I mean, one of these days, a coach is going to suggest invading Poland.Uh, finally, it sucks because after you break up with someone, you can't escapethem, and it just kills you to seethem...everyday. Dulcie. Call me.Tonight. I don't care when you get in" God. Adrian Grenier serenading me with pop leftist talk like that...the thought of it makes me salivate. He's no Lloyd Dobbler--John Cusack was truly the king of awkward, endearing, highly critical protagonists, but he'll do.
I give this move a C-. But if you have fond memories of it from when you were a dumb 12 year old it's a solid C+.

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