Long Live MY SO-CALLED LIFE!

My So-Called Life is the best show I’ve ever seen about a teenage girl. Claire Danes plays Angela Chase, a sophomore in high school who begins to examine her life, to look at high school through a real lens, to understand herself. In a manic-panic move, she dyes her hair Crimson Glow because her hair was holding her back, so says Rayanne Graf, her colorful friend. Angela quits Yearbook, explaining to the teacher that they work so hard to create this book. This yearbook ends up becoming such a lie because it doesn’t depict what REALLY happened. It’s what everyone thinks was SUPPOSED to happen. And, if you made a book about what REALLY happened, it would be a really disturbing book.

So, that all happened right in the first episode, and I was completely in love from the start. I mean, isn’t it clear…just from that revelation about a yearbook? This show is just really good. Every episode is nuanced with heartbreak that resonates. It’s the “Pimple” episode where Angela’s insecurities about her looks come out. It’s the “Boiler Room” episode where Jordan (played by the very dreamy Jared Leto) will only make out with Angela on the sly. But, at the end of the episode, when he walks with Angela down the hallway and takes her hand, you’re just so happy for her and you forgive him and you feel seen (right along with Angela) for the first time. (And, the Buffalo Tom song is perfect here.) It’s the “Our Town” episode. Rayanne gets the part in the play, and Angela isn’t speaking to her. But, at a rehearsal Angela must stand in for another actor and play opposite Rayanne. I swear I tear up every time I see that…Angela (a stage hand for Our Town) is crying for real when she must ask Rayanne (in script) “Were you happy?” And, Rayanne (in character) answers, “No.” That just gets me. It’s all so real and true and beautiful. I mean, there are just layers upon layers of good, honest moments.

I have the box set of the first season and when I watch it now, I can’t help but notice the story lines of the parents in a way I never did before. Jeez, marriage and long-term relationships are just really complicated. And, even when you love each other, it’s so easy to offend. And, it’s easy to cheat, and it’s easy to lose sight of your common path, and it’s easy to forget the reasons you even wanted to start this life together. But, that’s the thing about life (and MSCL). Life is messy and Angela doesn’t always do the most honest thing or behave correctly. She’s flawed, just like all of us. But, more than flawed, she’s introspective and constantly struggling to forgive herself those flaws while dissecting their very nature. More than anything else, this show displays in a real, raw way the experience of a teenage girl--an experience that does not usually get noticed with such respect and truth. Girls are complicated at every age, even when they are cynical and sensitive 15 year olds. They deserve to be truthfully portrayed, and My So-Called Life does that in the best way I've ever seen. Years ago, I heard the producer Marshall Herskowitz, talking on the NPR radio program Fresh Air. He thought it to be such a privilege to be able to give teenage girls a real voice when so often they are pocketed into stereotypes without much depth. Angela Chase is no such stereotype.

MSCL only lasted one season (1994). I’m sure some Lifers will convince themselves that MSCL was actually saved—as it was preserved—in this one perfect capsule. I disagree! I wanted Life after it got cancelled, and I’m still hungry for more. So good. So honest. So relevant to the inner workings of the human condition, in my humble opinion.